Suicide is a sin.

Suicide is a sin.

    I've been volunteering at a suicide hotline for six years now. Before that, I'd struggled though depression and self hatred that culminated in an attempt on my own life. Shortly after that, I began working here, answering the phone when it rings and offering up the advice I've been told to give. I don't dislike the work despite the fact that it's not the cheeriest of places, in fact it gives me a sort of purpose and a certain sense of satisfaction when I realise I've made a huge impact on someone's life.

    When the phone rings and you pick up, it's usually immediately obvious what sort of call it's going to be. Most often they just want a person to listen, there's no immediate danger, just a lonely person needing a friendly voice. Some callers are more determined however, people who want to end it but a part of them wants to live enough to call our line. These have to be handled carefully, you do not want to scare them away from the line until you can get them to do the right thing.

    Very rarely you'll get a call from someone who knows what they want to do. They're often the most frank, speaking openly about their plans and honestly they're rather refreshing. With most callers you have to be subtle about your phrasing, carefully manipulating them into doing the very thing they called you to prevent.

    With those who are committed and go through with it however, it's always satisfying to hear the line go dead and seconds later watch them walk though the door, as confused and dazed as I was when I first arrived. They'll be taken though to orientation and put to work shortly after.

    Suicide is a sin, and this is the punishment. When I do my job and convince them to pull the trigger, I add another mark to the chart on the wall next to me. At the rate I'm going I'll hit my quota by the end of the year.